Toon Call of Duty
by McSqueaky
Summary: Saving Private Ryan reenacted by Toons with a bunch of twists and changes...
1. Chapter 1

TOON CALL OF DUTY

**CHAPTER 1**

**The toons trembled as the U-boats neared Toonaha Beach. A light shower sprinkled the toons who were soon to go to battle. "I want everyone to make their way up the beach and clear out those murder holes!" commanded Captain Wally. The boats smashed against the water. A toon turned a crank which put down the protective wall and a storm of bullets flew into the U-boat. Most of the toons thinking that they could have fought for their country died when this happened. "OK, go, go, go!" shouted Wally. The surviving toons jumped out of the small boat and into the water. They were pulled down by their guns, and some couldn't get up. The toons made their way up the beach, hiding behind wreckage. An explosion went off right next to Wally. He was shell-shocked. He looked around, dazed, at the dying soldiers, some pulling wounded friends to safety, but not accomplishing their goal, and ending up like their friend. Wally came out of shell-shock and heard Sergeant Funnyfoot shouting, "What do we do now captain?" A shower of bullets bounced off their cover and they ducked for safety. Wally commanded, "Get your men up the beach and get to the rally point!" Funnyfoot looked around. Another shower of bullets came and they ducked again. "Where is the rallying point?" he shouted over the gunshots. Wally pointed to a wall of rocks. "Right behind those rocks!" he shouted.**

**The toons made their way up the beach and took cover behind the rocks. "Get me some flame throwers!" Wally told Sergeant Funnyfoot. He nodded and shouted the order. Some flame thrower troops started their way up the beach. One of the gas tanks got shot and it exploded in an inferno, killing all the other flame thrower troops but one, who made it up safely. He asked what he needed to do. "Make your way around the flanks, go inside, and get them!" commanded Wally. "I'll get you some covering fire! Now go!" The toon made his way around the rocks and to the entrance of the bunker while Wally and the other toons shot anyone who walked out of the bunker. The flame thrower toon pulled his trigger and the bunker burst into flames.**

**Wally and Sergeant Funnyfoot sat on top of a hill and watched the soldiers who had died for their country wash away in the tide of the sea. "It's quite a sight," said Sergeant Funnyfoot quietly. Wally kept watching. "Yes," he said. "Quite a sight…"**

**_T-Day +8 hours_**

**_We landed on the beach two hours ago and only a handful of us made it. The Toonan's had three MG42's in a bunker but we cleared it out with a flamethrower. Sergeant Funnyfoot is a good soldier and follows orders well. I wouldn't want to have anyone else watching my back._**

**Wally put away his record book and turned off his light. He climbed into bed and went to sleep. He dreamed of battles and of his training that night. Hours passed and then, Wally was awoken by something. He heard feet of many toons and guns being loaded. He grabbed his gun and aimed it at the door. All was quiet… Suddenly, the door burst open and three Toonans jumped in. They couldn't see Wally but he could see them. He shot them with his rifle and sounded the alarm. The other toons rushed out of their tents and Wally came out of his cabin. A Toonan was hiding behind a barrel of gasoline. Wally shot at him but hit the barrel. It exploded, and the Toonan blew to smithereens. "Well, that works too," said Wally shrugging. A Toonan fired a shot at one of Wally's soldiers. Wally flipped around and fired his rifle. "Mein rucken!" shouted the Toonan and fell to the ground dead.**

**After almost all the Toonans were dead they surrendered. "Kein jagd! Wir sich ergeben!" (Don't shoot! We surrender!) pleaded the Toonans. Wally and Sergeant Funnyfoot shouted over the Toonans' yelling, "I can't understand you! What are you saying?" The Toonans continued pleading in the Toonan language. Finally Wally yelled, "Drop 'em!" and his soldiers killed the Toonans.**

_**T-Day +18 hours**_

_**Our camp site was attacked by the Toonans last night. It was hard to see and I could only tell where they were when they fired their guns. We think they were surrendering but we killed them.**_

**Wally was called over by Lieutenant Fuzzymuffin, a dark green rabbit. "Captain Wally, we have just received orders from General Flapjack," he said, unrolling a map. "Moonlight Star, a mother of five, has all of her sons in war and four of them have been killed in action. I have been informed that she will be receiving all four telegrams tonight." Wally looked at the map where Lieutenant Fuzzymuffin was pointing. "If you head to the refugee camp a few miles northeast of here, where they tend wounded soldiers, you might be able to find her last son, Private Bananagoober."**


	2. Chapter 2

1**CHAPTER 2**

**"Who is Private Bananagoober, sir?" asked Sergeant Funnyfoot when Wally told the squad of soldiers who were to go with him. "And how is he worth eight of us?" Wally looked down at the soil. Then he looked back up and said, "These are our orders and I didn't make them. We are soldiers and we have to follow our orders."**

**The squad contained of eight soldiers: A dark blue rabbit named Private Pepperjinks, a yellow duck named Sergeant Funnyfoot, a medic named Crunchyjinks, a yellow mouse named Private Cheat, a green rabbit named Private Jabberblabber, a purple cat named Private Purpleziller, a yellow cat named Private Zillerspinner, and Captain Pinkertooth (Wally). They began their long journey to find Private Bananagoober.**

**The squad's first stop was a bombed town called Anbruchdorf or "Dawnville". It was raining when they arrived. "Thunder!" shouted Pvt. Pepperjinks to Pvt. Jabberblabber. He listened for Jabberblabber to reply. "Flash!" shouted Jabberblabber, who was running up as a scout. Pvt. Cheat saw some apples that had fallen out of a broken wagon. He looked for good ones and bit them, then threw them on to the ground. Jabberblabber waved over the rest and they moved up, hiding behind rubble. A distressed family was begging them to take their children. "Einnahme unser kinder!" they shouted. Pvt. Crunchyjinks translated it. "They want us to take their children," he said. Wally shook his head. "We can't take kids!" he replied sternly. Pvt. Pepperjinks climbed up and took the little girl. "What do you think your doing?" shouted Wally. Pepperjinks carried her to where the other soldiers were. "I can't leave her!" he replied. Suddenly a bullet went right through him. He leaned against a wrecked piano, clutching his chest in pain. He fell to the ground, bleeding. "He was hit before I heard the shot," said Pvt. Cheat. "It was a sniper." He found good cover and attached his scope to his rifle. Pepperjinks put his hand into his shirt and pulled out an envelope. "Here! Take this! It's to my dad!" he wheezed. The sniper that had shot Pepperjinks was looking around, trying to find who he was speaking to. "Pepperjinks get down!" whispered Pvt. Jabberblabber.**

**The sniper looked right at Pvt. Cheat but was too late to fire. Pvt. Cheat shot him right through the scope. He ran back to the rest of the soldiers. "I got him," he said. Jabberblabber took Pvt. Pepperjinks's message. They took a moment of silence. Private Pepperjinks had died. "Forget Bananagoober," whispered Pvt. Purpleziller to himself in sorrow.**

**The squad put the little girl back with the rest of her family. On their way to the refugee camp they came across a bridge connecting one side of a valley to the other. It was under control of Toonans. "We need someone to go left and someone to go right," said Wally. Pvt. Zillerspinner said, "I'll go right." Crunchyjinks was to be the scout. Sgt. Funnyfoot decided to go with Zillerspinner. "Now here's the plan," explained Wally. "You guys go right and—Who's going left?" There was a pause. Pvt. Cheat broke the silence. "I'll go left," he said. Wally instructed Pvt. Purpleziller to go with Pvt. Cheat. "I'll go right. You guys going left, I want you to surprise them and take them out. The guys going right and I will hold them off until you get there," explained Wally. "Now get going!"**

**The toons ran out into the field and hid behind rocks. The battle began. Grenades were tossed back and forth and shots echoed through the field. Finally the battle was over and Crunchyjinks, the medic, had been shot. The toons washed away the blood and put pressure on the wound. "You're gonna be okay, just don't look at it!" said Wally. "Is there anything we should do?" The toons continued to put pressure on the wound. "Give me some morphine!" cried Crunchyjinks in pain. Wally opened up the medical kit and pulled out the morphine. They began injecting it near Crunchyjinks's wound. Crunchyjinks's crying quieted. He whispered his last words and then he died.**

**The toons grabbed the Toonan who had shot Crunchyjinks. "Kein jagd ich bitte!" pleaded the Toonan. Pvt. Cheat rammed him against a rock. "Shut up with that Pig Latin!" he sneered. Sgt. Funnyfoot pulled out his pistol and aimed it at the Toonan. "Kein jadg ich!" he pleaded. Pvt. Jabberblabber protested, "This isn't right! Let him go!" Sgt. Funnyfoot looked at Jabberblabber. "After what he did? I don't think so!" he shouted. They quarreled for many minutes and Sgt. Funnyfoot ended up aiming his gun at Jabberblabber. "What? You gonna shoot me?" asked Jabberblabber sarcastically. "Go ahead then, shoot me!" Sgt. Funnyfoot knew he couldn't do it but he kept his pistol aimed at him. "Why would you shoot me anyway? Because I am trying to save someone who doesn't deserve to be shot?" asked Pvt. Jabberblabber. Sgt. Funnyfoot shouted back, "No, I'm gonna shoot you because I don't like you!" Finally the argument was settled and they all decided to have the Toonan dig Crunchyjinks's grave.**

**The toons aimed their guns at the Toonan as he worked. "I like Toonerica!" said the Toonan. Toonerica is where Wally and his soldiers were from. Then he sang, "Oh, say can you see? O-oh, say can you see?" The toons didn't say a word or show any face expression. "Forget Hitoonler! Forget Hitoonler!" he shouted in anger. Hitoonler was the leader of the Toonans. After the grave was dug they put a cloth over the Toonan's eyes. "Now I want you to walk one hundred steps forward and don't stop. Take off the blindfold and turn yourself in to the nearest Toonerican Toon of War camp," explained Wally sternly. He pushed him forward and watched as the Toonan walked away into the distance.**

**Wally put Crunchyjinks into his grave and buried him. The soldiers saluted their dead friend and continued their journey to the refugee camp.**

**Finally, the toons made it to the refugee camp. "Get me the dogtags you've collected from dead soldiers," commanded Captain Wally. The head medic brought over a bag of dogtags. Pvt. Cheat, Pvt. Zillerspinner, and Pvt. Jabberblabber began searching the dogtags for Pvt. Bananagoober's. They began to joke around and laugh. "Shut up!" said Pvt. Purpleziller. "These are dogtags of soldiers who died for their country!" The three other toons quieted when they were told this. They should honor the dead soldiers. After half an hour of looking through dogtags they did not find Bananagoober's. Capt. Wally walked up to the people leaving the refugee camp. He saw an old French toon and asked, "Bonjour monsieur, mener vous Bananagoober?" The French toon shook his head. Wally turned toward the rest of the crowd. "Does anybody know a Private Bananagoober? Private Flapjack Bananagoober?" he yelled. A soldier turned around. "Hey Captain!" he shouted. "Do we have a Private Bananagoober?" His captain said that he had someone who knows him. A toon ran up. "Do you know a Private Bananagoober?" Capt. Wally asked. The toon pointed to his ear and said loudly, "I'm sorry, you're going to have to speak up! A Toonan grenade went off right beside my head." Wally instructed someone to get a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote: _Do you know Private Flapjack Bananagoober?_ He showed him the paper and the toon said loudly, "Yeah, I know him! We were in the same paratrooper group! We got scattered all over the place! We landed near a town called Mittedorf! It's east of here!" Wally wrote down his thanks and started his long walk to Mittedorf.**


	3. Chapter 3

1

**CHAPTER 3**

**The toons were crossing a field when they heard an engine roar and tracks. "Panzer!" cried Sgt. Funnyfoot. "Get down!" They hid in the tall grass of the fields, their hearts racing. One of the Toonans spotted Pvt. Purpleziller and shouted some orders. The tank aimed and fired. It missed him and hit the ground. Dirt went flying everywhere, and when it was gone so was Zillerspinner. The Toonan spotted Pvt. Cheat and the panzer's barrel was aimed right at him. He got up and jumped out of the way just in the nick of time. Then, all of a sudden, the panzer burst into flames. The Toonans jumped out in flames. Capt. Wally shouted, "Who did that?" A few toons on the other side of the tank stood up. The one was holding a panzershreck. He pointed to himself and said, "Sir, Private Bananagoober." Then he started to point to the soldier beside him but Wally interrupted him, "Private Flapjack Bananagoober?" He nodded.**

**Wally and his squad, along with the toons they just met up with, went to the bridge Private Bananagoober and the rest of his crew were protecting. "This is the bridge we are supposed to protect. If the Toonans get it they can get across to a Toonerican refugee camp a few miles east of here," explained Bananagoober. Wally told him and his group to take a break but stay aware. He pointed to a bell tower. "Private Cheat," he said. "I want you to stay up there with Private Purpleziller and keep watch." Next Wally pointed to one end of the bridge. "This is the Alamo," he explained. "If they push us back this far, we're gonna have to blow the bridge up with this Composition B," he pointed to the pile of Composition B. "They'll probably have tanks so we're gonna need some Sticky Bombs," he said. The toons looked around in confusion. Private Bananagoober asked, "Sir, are you making that up?" Wally shook his head. "No. Do you have any Field Manuals? They're stated in there," he said. The other toons said they didn't have any Field Manuals. "Well, first you take your socks and stuff as much Composition B or other explosives as you can into it and coat the whole thing with axel grease."**

**The squad made as many Sticky Bombs as they could. Pvt. Cheat and Pvt. Purpleziller went up into the bell tower and the rest of the toons sat down on the steps listening to quiet French music. Capt. Wally was sitting in a chair with his feet propped up on a crate talking to Pvt. Bananagoober. "I'm trying to see my brothers' faces but I can't," said Bananagoober, looking into the sky. Wally sat up in his chair. "Well you don't think of their faces necessarily," he said. "You have to think of a context." Bananagoober looked down at Wally and asked what he meant. "Like something you and your brothers did. Something like that. For me I think about my wife and her rose garden," he continued. Pvt. Bananagoober thought for a minute and chuckled. "There was one time, I was in my bed and three of my brothers shook me awake and told me they had a surprise for me. So they took me out to the barn and brought me quietly up to the loft. So then I see my brother Zinger up there with Zippy Octoberry. Now talk about a girl who just took a nose dive off the ugly tree and every branch coming down! So they're about to kiss when Spunky yells, 'Zinger you're a young man! Don't do it!' So then Zippy hears this and she screams and goes running around the barn and knocks herself out!" He was laughing very loudly now. "So this makes Zinger mad and her picks up a shovel and starts swinging it at Spunky and Spunky says, 'What're you trying to hit me for? I was just doing you a favor!' So this makes Zinger even madder and he swings it and he loses his grasp, the shovel hits a kerosene lantern, and the whole barn almost goes up cause of this!" Then he stopped laughing his face straightened. "Then that was the last I saw of them. The next day they went off to basics training."**

**Suddenly a silent but steady rumble of an engine arose. The toons turned off the record player and looked up at the bell tower. Pvt. Cheat made some military signals. "Three Panzers, fifty infantry, and two Flak Cannons," Wally told the rest of the group. They all found good cover and loaded their guns. They had set up some Composition B in the path they were coming from and readied the detonator. When about ten infantry were there we turned the switch. The infantry blew to pieces. The Toonericans began firing at the Toonans. The Panzers sped up and began to make their way towards the fight. A Toonerican dog named Pvt. Nicklebump lit his Sticky Bomb. A Panzer began rolling past. He ran up but didn't make it. He blew to pieces right when he stuck it onto the tracks of the Panzer. A cat named yellow horse named Pvt. Crinklesnout was in charge of ammunition. He dashed around not knowing what to do. Pvt. Pepperjinks and Pvt. Electrosplat, a green mouse, were on the second floor of a building. A grenade flew into their hiding spot and they chucked it back out. Another one came in and they through that one out too. "I'm out of ammo!" shouted Pvt. Pepperjinks. "Crinklesnout!" They both called for Pvt. Crinklesnout. They heard foot steps. Someone was coming upstairs. "Crinklesnout…? Crinklesnout…?" It wasn't him. Pvt. Electrosplat fired his gun through the wall and they heard a thud when the Toonan hit the floor.**

**Suddenly, bullets came flying in. It hit Pvt. Pepperjinks in the throat and he fell to the floor. The Toonan came in and Pvt. Electrosplat ran up to him and whacked him with his gun. They began fighting. Soon they ended up beating each other on the floor. Pvt. Electrosplat pulled out a combat knife and tried to stab the Toonan. The Toonan grabbed the knife and rolled over onto Electrosplat. He began to push the knife into him. Finally, Private Electrosplat died.**

**Seven Toonerican troops jumped onto the stopped Panzer and fired into it from the top. Then they threw a grenade into it. Two Toonans pushed a Flak Cannon up to the top of a pile of rubble and began to shoot the Toonericans and they all died.**

**After a gruesome battle the Toonericans were pushed back to the bridge. "Alamo! Alamo!" shouted Sgt. Zillerspinner. Wally grabbed the detonator to the Composition B. A Toonan shot him in the hand. "Agh!" Wally shouted in pain. The detonator flew into the air and fell over by a parked motorcycle. Wally got up and walked over to it. He got shot in the chest and fell to the ground. He crawled toward it. He grabbed the detonator and turned the handle. The bridge blew to pieces. A Panzer slowly neared Wally. He took out his combat pistol and began to fire at it, knowing that it would do no good. Then, all of a sudden, the panzer exploded and a plane flew through the air. "P-38s, sir," explained Bananagoober. Wally looked up at them with wonder. "Angels on our shoulders…" he said. The Toonans had surrendered! Wally grabbed Bananagoober's shoulder and said, "Earn this…" Bananagoober's eyes filled with tears. "Earn it…" And then Captain Wally died.**

**CONCLUSION**

**Bananagoober, at age eighty-three, looked at Captain Wally's grave and began to cry. "I'll never forget what you said on the bridge that day, and I hope I have done enough in my life to earn what you did for me…"**


End file.
